Into the Night

We’ve all heard the saying that assuming makes and ass out of you and me.  I firmly believe this is especially true when people make assumptions about each other upon a first meeting.  For me, it’s always my appearance.  All of my life, people have made snap judgements about me (unfairly, I might add).  How, you ask?  Here’s a few simple truths about me:

1.  I’m heavy.  People often interpret this as “I bet she eats a lot” or “She needs to get more exercise.”  Truth?  I’m also a recovering anorexic.  See what I mean about assumptions (close your mouths, btw)?  I’ve always BEEN heavy.  I have a thyroid condition and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  These are two very dangerous causes of obesity in women.  I have an exercise regimine that I’m religious about, and I’m more conscious of what I put in my body than most people I know.  I don’t drink (alcohol) and I don’t smoke.  I’m self-conscious about eating, to this day (there was a time I REFUSED to eat), and I prefer whole foods like fresh fruit and vegetables over anything else. 

2.  I’m agoraphobic.  Surprised?  It’s true.  Being Empathic, the emotions of others are overwhelming to me, at times, and particularly in crowds.  There’s just too much of it.  To cover my panic and discomfort, I often act extremely silly or goofy, or I pop off with little quips.  People see me as a clown, or a prankster.  Some people see me as annoying.  The truth is, once a person truly gets to know me, and I’m in a setting where I feel comfortable and in control, I’m not any of those things.

3.  I’m Pagan.  *smiles* Now, I know there’re a few people out there who are already pulling back from their computers in disgust… One more sign that people make snap judgements.  My beliefs are complex and multi-layered, and many people don’t understand them… but then, most people don’t take the time to try, either, and that’s okay.  I don’t expect them to.  But when I see noses turn up at my religious jewellery, and I get told there are places I’m “not allowed” to wear it, I get offended.  No one tells a Christian to remove their cross, or a Jew to remove their Magen David, at work.   Seeing my pentacles as offensive is yet one more example of a society-driven assumption.

4.  I love black and red.  I wear them all the time, and I love the Goth style.  And I’ve watched people cross to the other side of the street to go around me, like I’m dangerous (or have a contagious, deadly disease), while others stare at me like they’re trying to figure me out.  Neither really bothers me too much, most times.  But the first group’s assumption that I’m dangerous is misguided, at best.  I’ll help anyone who needs it, and the only people who should find me dangerous are those who’re hurting someone else.  As for the ones trying to figure me out… *grins* If you do, could you please clue me in?

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough for today, and I’m sure you’ve all now learned more about me than you ever wanted to!  Have a great and blessed day!

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm and is filed under Musings, My Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.