Into the Night

This is just a reminder… This blog will be going away very shortly (hence, why no new posts in a while).  For all my news, excerpts, and more on my writing, please visit my new blog at http://esthermitchell.wordpress.com

And for those interested in the paranormal/metaphysical side of things (news, lecture schedules, deals, and tidbits), please visit Wildflower Parapsychology & Metaphysics’ new blog at http://wildflowerpara.wordpress.com

Thanks!  See you on the dark side!

Esther Mitchell

    I know, the title of this sounds odd, as I kick off a new blog segment on Wednesdays called “My Life.”  Since I write under my own name, the logical person might say “but you became Esther Mitchell when you were born!”  Yes, and no.

   Yes, that’s been my name since birth.  In my younger years, it was a name I had a love-hate relationship with.  Mostly, I loved to hate it. Not many 4-5 year olds like it when they hear “oh, that was my grandmother’s name!”  It seemed hopelessly old-fashioned to me, at the time, and I wondered why I couldn’t be a Christine or a Heather, or even a Jessica.  Something that could be shortened to a nickname, maybe, or that screamed “young and energetic” instead of “geriatric.” :)

    The truth wouldn’t come out for another few years.  My name wasn’t a deliberate choice on my parents’ part (whom, until then, I blamed for choosing to do such a terrible thing to me) - it was a random fluke of Fate… Or was it?

   Esther is an Old Testament name in the Christian Bible, a prominent figure in Jewish history, and so much more than either of those.  Esther is the Hebrew form of the Babylonian Ishtar.  It also equates to the Tower in the Tarot.  It’s a name surrounded by mystery, power, love and chaos.  Small wonder, then, that my life would find such a balance of these things.

   I believe it is because of my early unhappiness with my name (which I have since learned to be appropriate and meaningful) that I discovered the art of name divinations - that is, exploring the reasons behind why people were given the names they have.  I’ve also learned to appreciate the whimsical nature of the Cosmos, that names just seem to make sense for people, in most cases.

    I know there’s someone out there right now who might think I’m crazy for this.  The truth, however, is that despite its rather fortune-tellerish description, name divination is actually more mathematical than mysterious.  Like its cousin, Numerology, name divination relies on mathematical equations in order to reach logical equations that relate to personality traits established in ancient times.  It is an art has remained viable for thousands of years, and like many ancient sciences, I think it’s one that we, as a society, are too quick to pass off.

     Have you ever felt like you’ve let who you really are slip away?  I  have.  Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life, and the times I’ve been the happiest, and I’ve come to realize that the happiest times of my life were when I was immersed in learning (school, research, etc), creating, and helping other people.  I’ve spent a lot of my life volunteering for causes in which I believe.  In recent years, however, I’ve become swallowed by the day-to-day, and the corporate machine.  And I’ve been miserable in it.  Instead of feeding my soul, I’ve been draining it of everything that’s so important to me.

     Why do I bring this up?  Because I believe that everyone should take at least one moment in their lives and consider what really makes them happy.  Find that part of yourself that says “I am happiest when I___________.”  The blank can be anything.  And you’ll be surprised to realize that at some point in your life, you had exactly what made you feel happy and fulfilled.  But, if you’re like most people (myself included), you’ve let that slip away in the raging river of what’s expected from you.  Now, ask yourself one question:  When was the last time I expected something of my life?” 

   Notice I said “I”… Not “what everyone else thinks I should expect from me.”  Look deep inside yourself, and you’ll see that the number one expectation you have of yourself is to be happy.  And are you?  Are you genuinely happy with what you do every day?  Do you want to be more, to feel more, to experience life more fully?

   If your answer to any of those questions was “Yes!” then you’re already on the right track.  Sometimes, it’s difficult to break out of the constraints of what we know everyone else expects of us.  But consider honestly - do you think anyone expected the Wright brothers to build flying machines that would actually give us flight?  No.  They were expected to build bicycles.  The dreams others laugh at, scoff at, or disapprove of are sometimes the things that turn out to be the greatest steps we can take. 

    My point? Be willing to dream, and UNwilling to give up on those dreams. Be willing to stand up for what you believe in, even if the rest of the world thinks you’re crazy.  Be outrageous at least once in your life, do something unexpected every day, and find the part of yourself that children understand, and adults bury away - the part that still believes.